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General

Rent Boy

Hello everybody, hope you are well and earning enough.
I thought I would update you all on whats been happening in the world of Del Boy.
Firstly, after much deliberation and looking at the new Merc & TX4, we have decided that we will sell our cab and rent one for a while. This is because after having a good look into the merc I have decided that it is not for me. The main reason for this is the fact that it doesn’t have opening windows in the back, ok I know that the rear quarter light type window does open, but this is not enough for the more drunken passengers to get their head out of before losing the contents of their stomach in the back of the cab. Now that isn’t the only thing that puts me off but it is the straw that broke the camels back.
As for the TX4 I am still not convinced that it is reliable enough and there are rumours that they are about to replace the engine with another Nissan lump, so for now we have decided to wait and see what happens in the next 12 months.

I can hear you all asking why we have decided to sell the cab and not just hold on to it as it is paid for, the answer to this is that the cab is now 10 years old and has over 350000 miles on the clock, and although we have had any work done as and when it was needed she is now getting to the stage where more and more work is required, also the bodywork is getting a bit shabby and will need a re-spray for the overhaul which all adds up so we have let somebody else have the headache and we have settled for the relative easy life of renting.

On the work front it seems to have picked up a bit in the last couple of weeks and not before time either!

I have had a few memorable jobs including the bilker that I wrote about last time. One of the more interesting jobs was last week when I picked up 2 girls in York Way who wanted to go to Finchley and then on to New Southgate. As we went along it became obvious that they had had a drink or two and were in high spirits.

The  girls were asking questions as we went along including what sort of music I liked and so on. After a bad rendition of Bob Marleys Buffalo Soldier they started to ask my name. Now I don’t know about you but I always feel uneasy telling my punters too much about myself so when I get asked mt name I always tell them that it is Errol, I did try Fred in the past but nobody ever believed me.

As we went along they started to quiet down and 1 dozed off. When we arrived in Finchley one of them asked for an ATM and got £30 out which she gave to me and then told me the address where the sleeper lived and said that she would pay the extra when we got there. When we got to the address she was comatose in the back and it took me a couple of minutes to get her to wake up. When she was awake she got out of the cab and went to her front door without paying the extra £8 that had run up from the last stop , so I called her back to the cab  only to be told to fu*k off and stop bothering her, then I said what about the fare and she started to shout and holler up & down the road then she started to kick her front door shouting at me to f off and that she shouldn’t have to pay for the ride home as I was a cabby and that was my job!

By this time the neighbours had started to look out of their windows so I thought that it would be easier to swallow the loss and get back to work rather than spend the next few hours explaining to the old bill what had occurred. After I had driven away I heard a beeping comming from the back of the cab and noticed that she had left her mobile on the back seat so I collected it and decided to hold on to it until the morning when no doubt she would realise it was gone and phone it to see where it was.

At around midday on thursday the phone sparked into life so I answered it and there she was asking how she could get it back. When I told her that I wasn’t back at work till midnight she was a bit put out but said that she would call me on her mobile at 12.30.

When she called I told her that she owed me the rest of the fare and that she would have to meet me somewhere or I would return it to her home but only after running the meter up there which would cost her another £30 odd. She decided to meet me at swiss cottage stn on her way to work . So at about 8 am friday she came out of the station and handed me a ton of schrapnel telling me that it was 80p short but that was all she had as she had lost her bank card. She then took her phone and piss*d off without so much as a thank you!!

Next time I will just hand the thing into the nearest police station and let them deal with it.

Well thats me done for now, I’ll be back soon with more from the world of Del Boy.

3 Responses to “Rent Boy”

  1. Adam G says:

    You missed the perfect opportunity to say ‘fuck off’ back, then break her stupid phone in three.

    She might think twice about having taxi drivers over next time around.

    I avoid taking females at all costs, they’re just too much bother nowadays.

  2. David Kershaw says:

    I agree, I too avoid picking up female passengers at night.

    Stuff them, if they can’t learn to behave, they ain’t getting in my cab ever again, end of.

    That way I get paid, and they can suffer at the hands of the scumbags and their beat up Nissans.

  3. dannyBoy says:

    Apart from the regular Business Lady..I avoid the silly groups of girls you get on Friday and Saturday night like the plague ! Nothing but a pain, while they all sit in the back working out whos owes what for the cab fare etc ( and this is when they are sober !)

    Fucking disgraceful the way these birds /animals carry on nowadays, give me 5 pissed up fellas any day !

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