Give me the money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello everyone hope you are well and earning enough.

The work is slow and I suppose the kipper season is still with us, either that or the doom merchants out there are right after all and we are heading for a recession, only time will tell.

I have had a few strange jobs lately like the chap I picked up on Euston Rd a couple of Fridays ago about 3am. He was walking along with a guitar over his shoulder and flagged me down by the entrance to St Pancras and asked to go to Mill Hill Broadway.

So off we trot out towards Camden Town . We had gone about 500 yards when he was fast asleep in the back so it was on with the radio and foot down to Mill Hill.

As I got to the roundabout at the broadway I saw a job come up on the screen from Southgate going to W3 so had a bid and got it.

I called out to sleeping beauty in the back and he finally wakes up and asks where we were!

After he regains his composure and gets his bearing he tells me that we are in the wrong place and we need to go back towards Hendon, so off we go back towards where we came from.

He directs me and we eventually end up in a dead end street with £38 on the meter and feeling a bit edgy I stopped the cab at the top of the road and asked for my money, keeping my foot on the brake to lock the doors.

The guitar man sees the price and says those immortal words “I ONLY HAVE £30 WILL THAT DO? ” you can guess the answer.

He then asks to pay by card but I tell him that as I have a job on the screen I can’t do a card transaction.

The conversation then goes along the lines of him telling me that it only comes to £30 usually, to which I answer do you usually stay awake on the way to direct the cabbie or do you manage to give the right address before you crash out.

He then tells me it is my responsibility to check that the customer has enough funds to pay for the trip before we set off !

By now I had the hump and told him that we would reset the meter and I would drive back towards the city un till we had £8 on the clock and then I would kick , sorry, let him out of the cab. As if by magic he found another £5 in his wallet, amazing what the prospect of a cold walk home can do for your finances.

We parted company with the age old parting words of him telling me to f**k off and me questioning both his parentage and his mental ability to be out on his own after dark.

The next friday I picked a punter up on Farringdon rd who asked how much to Westferry rd.

After I said between £15 – 20 he says ok but he would need a cashpoint on the way.

I turned left onto Ludgate hill and stopped at a cash machine then off through Canon St to Tower Hill, as we went along East Smithfield he said he actually wanted to go to Commercial Rd. So we go up Canon St Rd and right on to Commercial Rd, we went up past the Rotherhithe tunnel when he said pull over here.

When we stopped there was £15.60 on the meter.

He hands me £15 and says thats what you said it would be.

No I said,I told you between £15 and £20, so he handed me 10p,laughed, and said thats between the two.

So is £19.80 I said, so give me a score and I,ll give you 20p back if thats how you feel.

He gave the 60p and got out, slammed the door and went off without giving me a tip. Funny how quickly some peoples sense of humour fails sometimes.

The cab has been going well for a couple of weeks now and we were up to date with all the garage bills so you can imagine how I felt on Monday morning, about 3am ,when I managed to hit an old Ford Escort up the arse on Hanger Lane roundabout.

I don’t think the other driver had any insurance as he didn’t want to give me his details and just buggered off as soon as he could. But we have now got to give the garage £350 – £400 to put it right.

Well I think that is enough for now but I will leave you with this question; why is it that whenever I am coming along the M4 bus lane back from the airport I get stuck behind some dodgy old codger driving his METROCAB at 40 mph! (Do you think that you have to be old to buy a METROCAB ?)

Why, if they want to go at that speed, don’t they get in the inside lane and let us younger better looking drivers who want to earn money go past.

Cheers Del Boy

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